Dreams Born from Guilt
by Neurotica
Summary: AU. One-Shot. Truths Universe. After hearing his best friend's big news, Remus has a dream in which he faces all the feelings he's had, and receives advice from a very unlikely source. Set between chapters twenty-five and twenty-six of Altercations.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything you recognize in this story. As always, though I'm loathe to admit it, everything belongs to JK Rowling, and I don't get one cent for writing these stories. *sighs disappointedly*

**AN: **This is from the Truths universe, and it may help if you've read the other stories in this universe. This fits between chapters twenty-five and twenty-six of Altercations. Thank you.

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_**Dreams Born from Guilt**_

By Neurotica

Remus Lupin dreamed often, but most of the time his dreams were not something he would repeat to anybody but his fiancée, and even then, he used discretion. This night, not four hours after his best friend and brother, Sirius Black, proposed to his girlfriend and mother of his future child, Remus' dream was probably one of the oddest he'd ever had in his life. And in days to come, when he thought back on it, he would wonder if he'd had far too much chocolate before bed that night.

In the dream, he was sitting on the back steps of his cottage on a bright summer's day staring out into the backyard and the forest that surrounded it. He'd known immediately that it was a dream since his childhood home had been burned to the ground by Lord Voldemort just before that past Christmas. He wasn't alone in the yard; he could easily pick out the faces of his friends and loved ones, and could see a few new, younger faces as well. There were two children who looked almost exactly as he had at six years old, playing with a black-haired child and a younger redheaded child.

_Could this be my future?_ he wondered.

"Highly possible, that," said a familiar amused voice beside him.

Remus looked to his left and found James Potter grinning back at him. His old friend was reclined back on his hands, his legs straight out in front of him and crossed in a position Remus had seen him in hundreds of times before his death nearly sixteen years before.

"What's highly possible?" Remus asked, completely unfazed at seeing James beside him. Vaguely, he recalled all the dreams Sirius had had in the past about their friend, but Remus didn't think this one was anything like that.

"This," James replied, putting all his weight on one hand and using the other to gesture around them, "being your future. Who knows? It might just happen one day."

"Oh," Remus said. He turned back to look at the children playing around him, looking closer at the two children he'd recognized before. "Are... are they mine?"

"That they are," James said. Remus could hear the smile in his voice. "Lily always said you'd have cute kids. I guess she was right. What a surprise, eh? Of course, when she said that, she thought Naomi would be their mother..."

"Well, that didn't exactly work out, now did it?" Remus asked, very surprised at the bitterness in his tone.

James shook his head. "No, it didn't. But I think you'll agree that everything worked out in the end. Congratulations with Emmeline, by the way. Fine woman you got."

"She's amazing," Remus agreed quietly, feeling a small smile appear on his face at the thought of his future wife.

James turned to him. "You know, it's all right to be a little upset about what happened with Sirius and Naomi," he said. "I know you're happy for them, but their relationship has evolved a bit quickly. And even though you're always saying how over her you are, it's a bit obvious that you've still got a small amount of feelings for her."

"How could I not?" Remus heard himself ask, letting his thoughts and feelings pour out. "She was my first for nearly everything—my first crush, first kiss, first real date that I didn't run out on, first love, first... Well, you get my meaning," he said, blushing a bit. He'd never known it was possible to blush in a dream. And it didn't help that James was grinning slyly at him, either. "She was the first to break my heart... I was still in love with her for many years, Prongs, long after she left me. And then I find out my best friend was seeing her behind my back. Then he goes and gets her pregnant. How am I supposed to feel about that? Not to mention, I'm about to be married and I don't want Emmeline to feel that I'm hanging on to the past... What if she leaves me too?"

James sighed. "Well, it's okay to hold on to some of that. Look at Sirius. He may say he's gotten over Julia's death, but do you think he ever, truly will? Naomi knows how he feels about her, and she hasn't left him."

"Yes, but Julia didn't become a Death Eater just before Sirius' life fell apart."

"True," James agreed, nodding thoughtfully. "But Naomi realized her mistakes, and did everything she could to right them. She nearly died in the process... Look, I understand where you're coming from, Moony, honestly, I do, but first loves don't just go away, no matter how badly they hurt you. And I think you know that. Isn't that part of the reason you've let her back into your life so easily? Yes, she broke your heart, but you found a new love,_ a stronger love_, and you're a better person for it. The pain you felt when Naomi left... it's still there, and seeing everything that's happening between her and Sirius... On some level, that's got to hurt just as bad as what she did to you. It doesn't mean you're a bad person to be a little upset about this, Remus. And it won't make you a bad husband, either. You think Emmeline doesn't know what you're feeling right now, after everything that's happened? She does, and she knows you'd rather keep it to yourself rather than hurt her—you wouldn't hurt her, by the way. You're not the only one with a heart-breaking past in this relationship, Moony..."

"What does that mean?" Remus asked sharply.

But James only smiled mysteriously and looked across the backyard. "I can't tell you that, but I will say it's got nothing to do with Snivelly."

Remus chuckled. "That's good to know. I guess."

"You know, it was kind of inevitable that Sirius and Naomi got together," James said, looking at the couple smiling happily at each other. "I mean, come on... They were best friends almost all their lives, they had everything in common..."

"Are you saying Naomi and I had nothing in common?"

"That's not what I said," James said patiently. "You and Naomi were great together. It just wasn't meant to be."

"I wish I would have known that when I was younger," Remus muttered.

"You weren't supposed to know," James said gently. "Life is all about lessons, my friend, and unfortunately, heartbreak is one of those lessons."

Remus sighed. "I don't know anymore, James. When Sirius told me she was pregnant, it was like everything was happening again. They've only been together for a few months, and even then they weren't really together, were they? They had to keep it a secret, because of the position she was in..."

"Are you still upset that Sirius didn't tell you?"

Remus shrugged. "Not as much as I was when I first found out. I can sort of see his reasoning behind it, even though it was completely idiotic. If he had told me I probably would have hit him for being so stupid. I mean, she was a Death Eater, no matter how much she's tried to help the Order. And I know she's your best friend, Prongs, but..."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Remus," James said quietly. "I'm still in shock over what she did, but I honestly believed her when she told you that she would never hurt Sirius. She loves him, very much, and he feels the same way for her. It may have happened quickly, but I've never heard of a timeline for how quickly someone can fall in love. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes it takes a day—it all depends on the people."

"I know," Remus said, a small smile playing on his lips. "I couldn't even tell you when I fell in love with Emmeline... It happened so fast... But the way she reacted when she found out Naomi had kissed me last year... I don't want that to happen again."

James looked at him oddly, then smacked him in the head. "You moron, she reacted that way because she found out from _Sirius_, not because it happened. Yes, I'm sure she would have been quite upset if you'd told her, but she wouldn't have done what she did."

Remus rubbed the spot where James hit him with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't think you were able to get hurt in dreams," he said slowly.

To his surprise, James chuckled. "Not in normal dreams, my friend."

"So this isn't a normal dream?"

"Nope."

Remus waited for him to expand, but James only started picking at the grass in front of him. "So what is it?"

James sat up slowly looking thoughtful and seemed to debate on his answer. "Consider it a divine intervention, if you will," he said carefully. Remus only raised his eyebrow higher still. James sighed. "Look, I'm not even supposed to be here. I've got Lily and Julia thinking I just went out to the supermarket for some milk. They'll kill me if they find out I've come here. It won't happen again, I can tell you that."

"And why did you come here exactly?" Remus asked, trying to work out what was happening.

James shrugged. "Thought you could use a bit of advice about how to handle the joyful news you just received."

Remus nodded. "Ah."

"Please tell me it did some good," James said pleadingly. "If I go home and get boxed around the ears, I want it to be for a good reason."

"Just seeing me isn't a good enough reason?"

James laughed. "Well, it is, but I think you know what I mean, Moony." He put an arm around Remus' shoulder. "Give Naomi a chance. She is trying. And yes, Sirius is a bit of an idiot, but what would life be like if he wasn't?"

"Normal? Quiet? Peaceful?"

"Exactly, and who would want that?"

Remus chuckled. "So what now, Prongs?"

"Now you go on with your life, marry your love, have a bunch of little Moonies—I wouldn't protest if you named one of them after me, by the way." James grinned. Remus laughed. "And you live life the way it was meant to be lived."

Remus nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks."

James winked. "Anytime, mate." He turned his head suddenly to his left as though listening to something. His eyes widened slightly and he turned back to Remus. "Listen, I've got to go; the girls are on to me. Everything will work out just fine, Remus, you'll see. Just remember what I said about Naomi. I know it won't be easy to just start being her best friend again, but she doesn't expect that. She just wants to know you don't hate her anymore..."

Again, Remus nodded. "I'll do my best."

"That's all any of us can do." James stood and stuck out a hand to help Remus up. "Take care of yourself, Moony."

Remus watched James turn away and start to walk to the mouth of the forest. He wanted to call out to him—he hadn't seen his best friend in so long and there was still a lot he wanted to say—but before he could do anything, James turned back to him, smiling.

"By the way, Remus, I wanted to thank you for what you've done for my son. He's an excellent kid, and I don't think I would have been able to do a better job than what you and Sirius have done."

Remus smiled at him as he waved and entered the forest. He looked around him, finding that his surroundings were fading; the children that had been playing tag were disappearing along with his friends and family. _I suppose this is where I wake up and start seeing the world in a different way,_ he thought, shaking his head. Of all the things he could have dreamed about, it had to be James and him talking about Naomi...

* * *

Remus' eyes snapped open and it took him a moment to adjust to the darkness surrounding his bedroom. He turned to his right where he heard light breathing and found the face of his fiancée right next to him. He smiled and softly kissed her before looking back to the ceiling. James always did give good advice. When he wasn't acting like a prat and trying to think of ways to torture Slytherins, that is. And this whole episode with Sirius and Naomi wasn't the end of the world—it wouldn't be too bad having a kid around the house again. Maybe it would turn out to be a good thing after all. But he'd have to wait and see. Right now, it was time to get some more sleep. Tomorrow would be a busy day; he'd have to start teasing Sirius about how it was time to be a responsible father. Chuckling and smiling mischievously, Remus closed his eyes again. Sleep followed minutes later.


End file.
